Sunday, August 27, 2006

A Pro-Choice Man's Guide to Unwanted Pregnancy portrays men as victims indicating that every minute in the USA a baby is conceived under a set of circumstances where they see men as being "forced" into parenthood. They focus on the potential impact of a child coming at an unplanned time. They focus on the disruptions rather than the strength and the beauty.

They talk about men being "involuntary parents" having to "fake parental affection" and refer to the child as "unwanted" in their guide

They talk about the negative impact that this will have on their marriage prospects (Who would marry a man who dumped his kids?)

They talk about the adverse impact on a man's health and even talk about suicide.This is their advice to men.

If you're really, really sure that you don't want to be a parent now, then start trying to persuade her to put the child up for adoption, or if you wish, have an abortion. You'll have at least three chances. This may work. About 1% of children are put up for adoption and about a third of pregnancies end in abortion.
Chance #1: Tell her that your relationship will go smoother if she doesn't keep the child.
Chance #2: Tell her that the child will appreciate it if it's adopted. Then it can have a loving father and less risk of the problems that are typically associated with absent fathers, such as dropping out of school, drug abuse, teen age pregnancy, crime and prison.
Chance #3: Tell her that you'd appreciate it if she doesn't keep the child because you're not ready to be a father and don't want the responsibility and stress to hurt your health. She should feel guilty. You don't want her bobsledding you to an early plot in the nice guy graveyard.
She may laugh in your face. She may know that lower state courts will tell you to shut up and shovel the gravel, even if she admits to lying about contraception (Stephen K. v. Roni L., 105 Cal. App. 3d 640, 164 Cal. Rptr. 2d 618 (1980)) or
rapes you.

Our current paternity laws treat your family planning as a bizarre animal husbandry experiment that you'd expect to find in a third world banana republic. Hundreds of thousands of American men have their paternity "established" in court each year, while women's family planning is protected by legalized abortion and abandonment. The protections given to men and women are
light years apart!

Persuading the CourtsThe next step is the traditional defense against paternity: a DNA test taken soon after the child is born. There's roughly a 10% chance that a DNA test will eliminate you, in which case you're home free. However, there's a 90% chance that it won't and you don't want to be obligated by DNA. Abortion and abandonment laws protect women from being obligated by DNA. You should be protected too.
If you know early on that you're likely to be forced into parenthood, you might consider trying to improve the law. However, it's imperative that you refine an overall strategy with a dream team of legal, media and reproductive rights experts before setting foot in a courtroom or in front of the media! This could be done through weekly conference calls. I've seen too many men lose because they underestimated the adverse case law that lower courts use. Your principled goal will be to overturn the current paternity laws in Federal Court with a
creative solution. This is my favorite solution because, unlike the band-aids mentioned above, it addresses the real problem: bad laws. The hardest dream team member to find will probably be an attorney who's familiar with men's reproductive rights, appellate courts and Federal Court. Check our list first. Failing that, it should be possible to find one with enough referrals. The media and reproductive rights expert should probably be Mel Feit, the executive director of the National Center for Men at (516) 938-3075 (voice) or (516) 942-2020 (message). I'd be glad to be on the team too. Be sure to aim for Federal Court. The lower courts will waste your money and are the "Bermuda Triangle" of men's reproductive rights. See this link for a litigation flowchart.
If you can't improve the law, you can still try to persuade her to marry a man who will adopt the child.

I can't imagine anyone wanting to be in a relationship with someone who thinks that way about women and children. I don't know whether or not they mask these views to the world or if the mothers actually find this acceptable thinking in a sexual partner.

I realize that the pro-choice support for this position is not uniform and there is diversity among pro-choice activists in how they see the rights of fathers before birth that anyone - even a single person- could unite with such thinking is beyond comprehension.


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